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Teach a man to fish - humorous alternatives

Tags: funny fish steak sayings

Added: 2005-11-11T19:52

Teach a man to fish - humorous alternatives

I've collected some humorous alternatives to the original teach a man to fish proverb: Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you will feed him for a lifetime.

Add new ones as comments if you know any.


Teach a man to fish and he will kick your ass and steal your fishing pole.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.
Teach a man to fish, and though he's fed for life, he'll call you a miser for not giving him your fish.
Give a man a fish, he owes you one fish. Teach a man to fish, you give up your monopoly on fisheries.
Teach a man to fish, and you can sell him a ton of accessories.
Teach a man to fish and you've fed him for a lifetime ... unless, of course, he doesn't like sushi -- then you also need to teach him how to cook.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. But teach a man how to fish, and he'll be dead of mercury poisoning inside of three years.
Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day, if you teach a man a fish he'll get drunk then fall out of his boat and drown.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; Teach him to use the Internet, and he won't bother you for weeks!
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, but give him a case of dynamite and soon the village will be showered with mud and seaweed and unidentifiable chunks of fish.
Give a man some fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll overfish, cause famine in the next three regions and pollute the atmosphere with his fish.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man religion and he will starve to death praying for a fish
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for a whole weekend.
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Enlighten him further, he owns a chain of seafood restaurants
If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; if you give a man a machine that makes fish, teach him to operate it, and enslave him, you feed yourself for a lifetime.
Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you will not have to listen to his incessant whining about how hungry he is.
Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you can sell him fishing equipment.
Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi - then you also have to teach him to cook.
Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in the boat and drink beer all day.
Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to sell fish and he eats steak.
Give a man a fish, and you satisfy his fish craving for a day. Give him fish aversion therapy, and you eliminate the craving for life.
Give a woman a fish and you'll be sleeping on the couch again.
Give a man a fish, and he'll wonder what you want from him.

posted by Calum on 2005-11-11T19:52 under

Comments

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Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you lose a steady customer.

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Feed a man fish - and then he wants chips. Give him chips and he asks for peas. Why not cut out the fish, make him a vegetarian, and help restore the balance of cod in the North Sea ???

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Give a man a fish, he'll eat it and keep coming back for more handouts. Teach a man to fish and he'll clean out your waterways so you starve.

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Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to phish, and he'll clean out your bank account.

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Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and somewhere some woman is going to have to learn how to clean and gut that fish, then how to prepare it, and finally, how to put up with those neverending "fish stories" about the one that got away.

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Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Hit him with a fish, and he goes away for good!

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Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he will never come back to church. (works in Africa)

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Teach a man to get a job, and he can buy fish at the store

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Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, give a man a fishing pole and he'll choke on it. Give a man a fish he'll eat for an hour, give a man a wooden fish he'll be gnawing on it for a day. Give a fish a man and it's probably JAWS! Give a man eating fish in a restaurant pepper and it spices up the flavor, give a man eating fish some pepper in the sea and it spices up the you. Give a man a dog and he can take it for a walk, give a man a fish he can take it for a drag.

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Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"

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Littlepear sez,"You can lead a man to fish, but you cannot make him water."

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give a man a rifle and he will say "Screw the damn sushi, I'm having steak tonight"

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Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

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2010-11-14 00:31

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Teach a man to fish and if him still come for handout, you better feed him to the fish.

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Teach a man how to fish, and you won't be able to sell fish to him again.

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Giv a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will store bait in the fridge.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to be gay and he'll eat cocks for the rest of his life.

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Give a man a fish, he'll have one meal. Teach a man to fish, his whole family dies and the fish start sleeping with his wife, who is dead.

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Teach a man to fish; you've fed him for a day. Give him a rifle and he's fed for a lifetime...however short that might be.

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....Teach a man to fish and he'll have to buy a license, pole, reel, lures, boat, trailer, towing package, bigger garage, ...

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Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to catch a fish, he eats for a lifetime. But teach a fish to catch and eat a man and you have really accomplished something.

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give a man a poisoned fish and he will be fed for the rest of his life.

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Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Give a man improperly prepared pufferfish, and he eats for the rest of his life.

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give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man religion and he dies praying for a fish

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Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to mess with the mafia and he'll be feeding the fishes before the day is over.

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Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Try to teach a man to fish and most likely he won't listen to you especially if you are a woman and a better angler!!!

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Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Show him your hooters and make a friend for life!

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Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach him how to fish.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach him how to fish.

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Give Sandusky a child and he'll diddle for a day, give Sandusky a youth football camp and he'll diddle for a lifetime.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fly-fish... and you'll never hear the end of it.

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Teach a man to fish and you will feed him for life. Give a man a fish and he will join the democrat party

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Teach a woman to fish marry her and you will have a cook for life. And if the fish aren't biting give her your rod!

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Teach your wife to work and fish. Then you can sit on the river bank drink beer and watch her catch the big one.

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"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day, Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime," Today let's make sure everyone has a fishing pole...

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you lose a Democrat voter

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Give a man a fish it reduces the level of commitment to teach. Teach a man to fish you'll never reel a fish in, in your own boat again.

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Teach a man to fish. He's a grown ass man and fishing isn't that f'ing hard :)

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Give a man atheism and he will starved to death waiting for it to evolve into a fish.

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The man already knew how to fish but we privatized and polluted his waterways. He knew how to hunt but we fenced off the land and killed all the buffalo. He knew how to grow corn but we patented the seed and he cant afford the royalties.

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Teach a man to fish and he will quit work.

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Give a woman a fish and you'll feed her for a day. Teach a woman to fish, she'll refuse to learn, nag "You never bring me fish anymore" and when you explain why, she'll tell you she never really liked fish anyway.

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Give a republican a fish and he'll take it, right before he calls you a Socialist.

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Give a teabilly a fish and he'll take it, then he'll call you a Socialist Communist Fascist, shoot you in the face with his AR 15 and blame it all on Obama.

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Give a man a fish and he'll eat a day. Teach him to fish and mankind will face fish extinction.

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#21 doesn't make any sense.

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You can lead a man to water, but you cannot make him fish.

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give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. smack him in the teeth and the fish will last a week

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Give a man a gun & he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank & he can rob everyone!

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Give a man the fish of someone else, and he will vote for you for life.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach and to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reel, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, tackle boxes, lures, 20 pocket vest, fish finder, depth sounder, radar boat, trailers, global positioning system, cookers and a six pack of Mountain Dew

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give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach him how to fish you'll have to hear about the big one that got away fro the rest of your life

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Give a man a fish and you've fed him for a day; teach him how to fish and you've fed him for a lifetime; teach a man how to do something new on a computer and he'll be bugging you next month how to do it because he forgot. He's got no incentive to remember it, like staving off starvation. So don't ask me how to do that thing you want to do in Excel until you've fasted for 3 days!

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he can sit in his boat all day and drink BEER

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Teach a man with Alzheimer's to fish and you've fed him for a day.

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Give a man a fish and he'll spend 2 grand on a fish tank.

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Give a man a fish and he will become a Democrat and will demand 2 fish tomorrow, Teach a man to fish and he will become a Republican and demand the Democrat stop stealing his fish.

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Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he will fuck off for the day!

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Teach a man to fish and he will buy up all the places to fish depriving his fellow fishermen the opportunity to fish for themselves, unless you go to work for them. (Walmart)

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Sell a man oregano and you have a customer for a day. Sell a man heroin and you have a customer for a lifetime.

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Teach the mexicans to fish and maybe they will stay home!

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Teach a man how to fish,and you ruin a potential business.

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teach a man to fish, tomorrow he will tell the world he was born a fisherman without an earthly master.

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teach a man to fish, tomorrow he will tell the world he was born a fisherman without an earthly master.

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Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll never starve. Teach a man to fish and golf and you'll never see him again.

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Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob the world.

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Give a man a day off and he can catch his own damn fish!

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Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life!

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Teach a man to get a girl who can cook fish for him..
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