What do you wish others would have told you years ago
A friend of mine's son is soon starting at university, and he sent me the following message:
I'm getting together a list of life lessons or things people wish they had been told earlier. If you two have anytime have a think about what has helped shape you or things you wish others would have told you years ago.
I thought this was a great idea, so I asked a bunch of other people whether they had any advice, and got some good results. Here are the results in no particular order.
Male, 50s
I wish I'd started a pension/ISA/savings earlier.
And buy a house.
And look after your ears/knees/back/health.
Oh, and don't care about what other people think. You're the star in your own world, but only a walk-on part in other people's. They really aren't paying attention to you.
Female, 40s
Be kind - not just to others but to yourself. Be kind with your inner self talk and when talking to yourself.
If you are upset/stressed about the past or worried about the future focus on the now. Mindfulness and grounding yourself in the now is valuable - what can you see, feel, hear. All you have is now all you can control is your own behaviour. Think of something you are thankful for. Count your blessings.
Treat food as an investment in your health and happiness.
Don't let perfection be the enemy of good enough.
Male, 50s
Time is the most precious resource you have. But you don't know how much of it you have.
Make the most of it.
But don't worry about relaxing and doing nothing too.
Bad things can happen to good people.
Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
I read something like this before. https://www.powerofpositivity.com/deathbed-regrets-revealed-by-nurses/
Don't put others before yourself.
You need to know when to say No, even though it feels bad. You can't help other people unless you're OK yourself.
An idiot doesn't learn from his mistakes.
A clever man learns from his mistakes.
A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.
Male, 40s
Work on your emotional intelligence.
Don't react emotionally to everything.
Read the book The Chimp Paradox.
Other people can have bad days which may be caused by their bad circumstances, so be patient with others and don't assume the worst.
Listen, and I mean really listen, to the song Everybody's Free, by Baz Luhrmann.
Start saving for your private pension NOW, and don't stop putting money into it.
Life goes so quick, so when/if kids come into your life, enjoy every moment no matter how small.
Don't be loyal to any job, unless you are self employed. They won't be loyal to you. Be loyal to yourself and take advantage of opportunities.
Male, 40s
Never forget you come from privilege
Always remember the system is rigged
Couple, 40s
- You need to surround yourself with people who are what you want to be.
- Be the stupidest person in the room. This means all you can do is grow
- The only failure is giving up. You've had to overcome this in GCSE and A-Level, you are capable of so much more.
- Do not hold emotions with ideas, this means you need to see ideas as things you can study and not things that need to be protected. This is especially true in engineering, being wrong is not the issue, arguing to win is a problem.
- Surround yourself with people who will allow you to fail gracefully, inturn you should allow others to fail gracefully too. Links with the above point, this is about not taking things personally and avoiding those that do.
- Try everything, everything is interesting if you engage with it. This will allow you to learn faster and link subjects and patterns together. This helps build mental models of how you think things should work. Very important.
- Do not assume, do not take what you read as truth. You need to understand why something is true, this will help you avoid pitfalls where an assumption on something leads you down the wrong path.
- Money is not the goal, you need to understand and learn what your goal is.
- Remove all distractions, only check your email or text once a day. Multitasking is a falsehood, context switching is expensive. Be present with those around you and the work you do, everything else can wait.
- Keep to a schedule, this helps control your time and ensure you are moving forward all the time. 10 pages a day reading is 3,650 pages a year that's at least 7 to 10 text books a year.
- Keep a physical book for finance, be clear on what you are spending and how much you need. Overspending each day/week/month will compound and you will suffer.
- Do not make decisions when emotions are high.
- Eat well, fitness cannot correct a bad diet. Bad health will affect your mood and energy levels.
- Do not seek approval from others, not even me or your mum. You need to be proud of what you accomplish, you do not need others to be proud of you.
Male, 50s
Start saving money. Exercise. Enjoy being single. Travel.
Female, 70s
Without doubt I wish I had known earlier how profound is the difference between extro and introversion and how much it affects every aspect of life. How western society values extraversion and often views introverts negatively.
Male, 50s
Don't wait for someone else to accompany you to things you want to do, just do it anyway. Eg, club nights, gigs, activity holidays (eg snowboarding) etc.
I've made loads of friends by just going to things on my own
Female, 40s
Hmmm, so many things I wish I knew when I was younger!
Take full advantage of the free education we have, and put in the extra hours to study. Results aren’t everything but they can change the course of your life.
Don’t get married, or have children with a person unless you are absolutely completely sure they are the one for you.
And as soon as you’re earning put away as much money as you can into a pension …. because although when you’re young it seems like a long way away, you will get old!